Top 10 Weirdest One-Liners that make Sense

I compiled a list of one-liners I heard, read and wrote in the past. I am sharing some of them with you. Here are the Top 10 Weirdest One-Liners that make Sense. Ok, a little sense. See if you can use them in one of your future conversations. Enjoy!

10. Shhhh…that’s the sound of nobody caring what you think.

9. A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

8. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

7. Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

6. Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.

5. Most of us can keep a secret. It’s the people we tell it to who can’t.

4. If at first you don’t succeed… you’re doing about average.

3. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.

2. The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

1. Don’t worry about what people think, they don’t do it very often.

Can Beauty and Brain be together?

Of course they can and we know a lot of people who have both of these. Apparently, this is not the case in this video. Enjoy!

Let me know your thoughts.

Monkeys and Wall Street

Here’s an interesting email I received. If you have difficulty understanding the current world financial situation, this should help.

Once upon a time in a village named Pitong Gatang, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10.

The villagers seeing there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10, but, as the supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their efforts. The man further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it!

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now act as buyer, on his behalf.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers: ' Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when he returns from the city, you can sell them back to him for $50. '

The villagers squeezed together their savings and bought all the monkeys. Then they never saw the man or his assistant again, only monkeys everywhere! Welcome to WALL STREET.

Let me know your thoughts.

Quantum of Grimace

The latest 007 movie is a major disappointment I wonder whether the Bond franchise can still hold true to the intrinsic character of its main protagonist.

In the latest James Bond movie, Casino Royale 2, oops sorry, Quantum of Solace, Agent 007 continues the high octane action where Casino Royale left off. Betrayed by Vesper, the woman he loved, Bond went out on a mission that is both personal and business. As he uncovers secret after secret about the organization that blackmailed Vesper, he discovered that what he’s dealing with is not only complex and far reaching but highly dangerous too.

In his quest, he played with death on the grounds of Austria, Italy and South America. His mission will lead him to some old friends and most trusted ally. In order to survive, he must keep one step ahead of his enemies, both known and unknown.

Now, my main beef about this movie. Not only is this the shortest Bond film ever, this is also the most “un-Bond-like.” Unlike its predecessors, where finesse and gadgets remain the hallmark of the central character, this movie flexes its muscles and uses brute force in order to make a point. Don’t get me wrong, this makes for a great action movie, but NOT a James Bond movie. I am not a fan of cliché but we all have an idea of who and what James Bond is, which by the way, played very well by Hollywood greats Sean Connery, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan.

In the latest installment, played by Daniel Craig, James Bond came with almost superhuman abilities, what with action scenes that are reminiscent of Spiderman and Incredible Hulk. This movie is not James Bond at all. Maybe if this were entitled Rambo, then I would’ve liked it better.

The plot, although gripping enough, leaves much to be desired. As this is a take off from Casino Royale which was shown 2 years ago, I came in the movie house not armed with enough background info, which is a pre-requisite to make this movie truly engaging. Yes I saw Casino Royale, but come on, who remembers a movie plot that you’ve seen 2 years ago?

I left the movie house asking myself: Did I watch Quantum of Solace or Quantum of Grimace?

Let me know your thoughts.

Paano ba maging Masaya?

Sa dinami dami ng mga librong nasulat tungkol sa “Happiness”, konting konti lang ang nakita ko na Tagalog. Inisip ko, baka naman dahil nga international language ang English kaya mas maraming nagsusulat sa English. Siyempre mas maraming nakakaintindi, mas maraming bibili, mas maraming kikitain ang author ng libro, ang resulta, mas masaya ang author. Ayos! Pero balik sa una kong tanong: Bakit nga konti lang ang “Happiness” book na Tagalog?

Siguro dahil likas na masaya na ang mga Pilipino. Hindi nila kailangan ng tips at kung anu-ano pang paraan para sumaya kasi masaya na sila. Sa mga happiness survey, laging nasa listahan ang mga Pinoy sa pinaka masayang tao sa mundo. Kakagulat diba? Kung tutuusin ang daming dahilan para malungkot ka sa Pilipinas, pero kahit na pa ganun, masaya pa rin ang mga tao. Tuloy pa rin ang buhay. Ngiti pa rin kahit na kasing laki pa ni King Kong ang problema.

Pero hindi naman lahat tayo masaya. Meron pa ring iba na malungkot. Tanong tuloy nila, pano ba maging masaya? Nagtanong-tanong ako sa mga kaibigan, kakilala, ka-opisina at ka-Friendster ko. Ito ang ilan sa mga sagot:

1. Ngumiti pagkagising. Tumingin sa salamin at sabihing “Ang ganda/pogi mo”. Aminin man natin o hindi, importante sa atin ang itsura natin. Kahit na pa isang batya ng glutathione ang inumin mo basta magiging maganda lang ang resulta, gagawin mo. Sa totoo lang, di kailangan yun. “State of Mind” lang ang kagandahan o kapogi-an. Ang kailangan mo ay “Positive Affirmations”. Ito ang tawag pag lagi mong tinatanim sa isip mo ang mga magagandang bagay tungkol sayo. Pogi ako, mayaman ako, marami akong kaibigan, healthy ako, ilan lamang yan sa mga positive affirmations at pag lagi mong sinasabi sa sarili mo yan, nagkakatotoo.

2. Mag-reminisce paminsan minsan. Eto isa sa mga paborito kong gawin. Yung mag-reminisce. Kahit na ano pa ang mga pinagdaanan natin sa buhay, meron at meron pa ring masasayang chapter na ang sarap balik balikan. Yan ang kabutihan ng memory. Nagagawa nating I re-live yung mga masasayang bagay na yun at nagagawa nating maramdaman uli yung saya habang nangyayari ito. Subukan mong gawin 'to habang bata ka pa at wala ka pang Alzheimer’s disease. Makikita mo, sasaya ka.

3. Makipagkwentuhan ng walang humpay. Naranasan mo na bang makipagtelebabad ng mga limang oras o kaya telebababad na magdamagan? Ako naranasan ko na at aaminin ko, ang saya. Pero matagal na yun. Ngayon mas madalas yung kwentuhan kasama ang mga kabarkada. Lahat ng topic sa mundo pwede nyo pagkwentuhan. Hindi kasi natin napapansin, sa pakikipagkwentuhan, nadedevelop ang personal closeness natin sa mga taong kausap natin at ang resulta ay “feeling of belonging” - isang susi sa masayang buhay.

4. Manood ng Tagalog love story. Eto sigurado ako walang aamin na nanonood sila ng Tagalog love story. Sa tingin kasi ng iba, baduy daw. Pero aminin mo man o hindi, kinikilig ka din sa kabaduyan nina Sarah and John Lloyd, Kim and Gerald o kahit na pa Marvin and Jolina. Iba kasi ang timpla ng Tagalog love story, mas madali maka-relate, kumbaga, konek na konek. Paglabas mo ng sinehan, meron kang ngiti sa labi. Pag kasama mo pang nanood boyfriend o girlfriend mo, doble ang saya. Wag mo na lang ipagsabi sa iba na nanood ka, kundi tampulan ka ng alaska sa susunod na kwentuhan.

Marami pa kong ibang tips na nakuha. Siguro isusulat ko na lang sa susunod. Ikaw, meron ka bang kakaibang paraan para sumaya? Agree ka ba sa nakasulat sa taas? Post ka ng comment dito tutal libre naman.

Let me know your thoughts.

Congratulations Barack Obama. Congratulations America.

Mr. President-elect Barack Obama, I would like to congratulate you for your landslide victory. Indeed, the message of Change that you represent has rung throughout every corners of America, the message of Hope that you embody gave energy to your campaign and the message of Unity that you always espouse has brought you enormous support that today, while victory is being delivered, History has been made. Congratulations! You deserve every bit of accolade that you receive now.

But more importantly, I would like to congratulate the American people for making a clear message to the world – Change is coming. I join the millions of people from all over the world who share your joy and aspirations of a better future. I am not an American myself but I feel joyful to see that America is once again getting back on its feet and proving itself once again as the shining beacon of hope, freedom and unity. As what your President-elect Barack Obama said: “The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there.”

The road ahead may start tomorrow. For now, celebrate your victory. Let’s party!

Let me know your thoughts.

Electing a US President in Plain English (video)

In only a few hours, the United States of America will elect a new President. Amidst the many serious problems that America is facing right now, this election according to many analysts is one of the most important elections in America’s history.

Two highly qualified candidates vie for the title of Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful nation on earth. Senator John McCain boasts of a sterling record as a Vietnam War hero and an experienced statesman. Senator Barack Obama harps on “Change” that is badly needed in Washington. Both men offer good value proposition and it’s up to the American electorate to decide which one of these two candidates will lead the country in the next four years.

For most of us who are just spectators of this historic event, our role is to stay in the sidelines and watch the event as it unfolds on CNN. However, for the uninitiated, the process of electing a US President is not as simple as you think. Whereas in other Democratic nation, the one who got the most number of votes win, in the US, it is not necessarily the case.

For my layman brothers who are curious how the process works, here’s an entertaining video that explains how to elect a US President in plain English.